Never Have I Ever

There are many things that I have done at the restaurant over the years but there are also many things that I have not. Thanks to the crazy weekend, I can move some of the things from the haven't column to the have...

Never have I ever been so excited about a football game. It was so exciting. I realized that I too am one of those people that yell at the TV and jump around. A sad realization on my part.

Never have I ever dropped the F bomb in front of customers till tonight. It was the most (if there is ever) appropriate time to do so, though. I was, as always, weaving through a jungle of people with a tray full of food and a hand delicately balancing a fresh-out-of-the-kitchen hot bowl of soup. All of a sudden, a group of intoxicated monkeys pop up in front of me to do a faux wrestling/hugging match. As I gently yelled out my current situation, one of the dudes backed up into me.

Thank God the years of maneuvering around drunkards had taught me a thing or two! Instinctively, I jerked back without spilling the hot lava. Unfortunately, my irritations allowed the fatal words to escape my lips. I couldn't help it. I almost burned myself and perhaps an innocent bystander (bar-sitter).

Never have I ever high-fived so many times in one shift. I swear, every trip to my section resulted in a total of...4 high-fives. That's not including the trip back. And they were for the lamest things: "Sake bombs!" High-five. "Football!" High-five. "My name's Sam!" High-five. "You're working!" High-five. Thanks for reminding me. Boo!

And never have I ever been so glad to have missed the drama the night before. I don't know much detail but I do have some key words: People, Alcohol, Loud music, Crowd surfing, Cops, Big mess. Why is it that college town cops are so eager to abuse their power? Ugh! Never should they ever.