Sugar Rush

Update: I managed to stay in my PJs all day--disgusting. This is what happens when I don’t plan my weekends. Fortunately, I was able to keep my mind active the latter part of the day (I hope that burned a calorie or two). I started brainstorming about more recipes I wanted to try out. I think I’m craving sweets because that’s all I was searching for.

I always loved the Profiteroles my mom made. It was a special treat because it’s a little more time consuming especially with the homemade custard filling. Those little darlings dusted with powdered sugar and filled with creamy goodness. They definitely take me to a happy place.

I’m taking the less culinary/foodie route with these fillings though. I’m going to use frozen whipped topping to give it the fluff and volume. I have only just recently had the pleasure of using Cool Whip. It is wonderful! I’m sure I’ve had it before at the parties but it’s never been present in my freezer. I would literally put it on everything if it were around. Now, you can turn your nose up at me if you want but it’ll be perfect for my little desserts. I’m smiling just thinking about those little bites of sweet flavored air. I can’t decide on what filling I want though. So far, I like the idea of a peanut butter, banana, or strawberry cream filling. I don’t want to choose. I want to try them all.

Speaking of baking, I just watched the movie Waitress. I had no idea Nathan Fillion was in it. It was really cute. Made me think of Hope Floats or Where the Heart Is…I don’t know, maybe it’s just the Southern accents they have in common. Anyway, Keri Russell’s character makes pies. Her escape from her horrible situation is to think up new pie recipes and giving them a unique name that reflects what she's going through. I like that.

I’ve never been a pie girl though. I just haven’t had a traditional pie that’s blown me away. Usually, they’re too sweet or so heavy that all I need is a sliver the width of a chopstick to satisfy my sweet tooth. I’ve attempted a cobbler once. My friends seemed to have enjoyed it—well, either that or they ate it because they love me—but I wasn’t totally impressed. I’m sure it was a combination of not really knowing how it was supposed to turn out and the absence of ice cream. I’ll take another run at it eventually.

Oh, there’s one more recipe that really interested me. I've used beer in desserts before. They make cupcakes light and moist. It's a magic ingredient! So today, I looked for another confection using something bubbly. I found a cupcake recipe using Prosecco/Champagne. It’s exactly what I was looking for: Something light, something fancy, and something delightful.

Stay tuned to find out what I actually end up making. I may even put up a picture or two as long as my yummies look fierce!

Tick Tock

I’m anxious. I’m anxious about going home. I can tell because I just watched a Christmas episode of a crime drama and cried.

I’m finally a weekend and a Monday away from heading home. I had another intense week filled with tests and hands-on assessments. I was surprised by my test anxiety. By the time I had set up and prepared to get my client on the table, I was sweating bullets. Luckily, my mind stayed clear long enough so I was able to complete the tests without error. This makes me nervous though because from now on, all my interviews with employers are going to consist of hands-on demos. I can only pray that they’ll be concentrating on my technique rather than the beads of sweat that’ll make me look un-cool.

I am so excited about heading home. We had a guest stay with us during my last trip back, which made it a bit hectic. This time, I will have my town and my friends all to myself. I have a couple dates with friends who will also be in town so it will be a nice reunion. I’ve been making a list of restaurants I want to hit too. I have been dreaming of rich, heavy, and fried food for some time now. Yum.

Ugh! Is it Monday yet?! I’m going to do my studying for my last test tomorrow and I already packed earlier in the week so I have nothing to do today. I can’t sit still. I should go out to the beach but I’m just not feeling it. Instead, I’ve been having my own Bones marathon but all I can do is glance at the clock on my wall. I’m also, regrettably, devouring the big bag of chips I bought for my drive home. At this rate, I’m unsure if they’ll make it till Monday.

I’ve never hated the weekend so much!

Significant

As any woman my age would do on a Friday night, I’m sprawled out on my couch in yoga pants and a loose fitting shirt. I'm busy clicking away on multiple sites looking for nothing in particular and the TV is providing white noise and a little company in the background.

I haven’t had a chance to meet most of my neighbors but all I know is the new tenant that moved in above me either has a short distance sprinting exercise regiment or has a dog with a little too much pent up energy. But, I can't complain. The guy that used to live there must have been a designer of some kind because he was constantly pushing around his furniture at all hours of the day.

I took a moment to look up my horoscope, which is easy since I follow "them" on twitter. It read: You won't just date anybody! You're extremely picky & they'll never really know how to get your attention.

I don’t read too much into stuff like this or tarot cards but on occasion, it's nice to have something that is, in a way, written for you.

Someone told me recently that it's better to have someone love you more than you love them. I don’t agree with that. Unconditional love is "handy" in that you’re basically free to do whatever you want and know that the other person will be waiting for you to return. I would rather be the one waiting, as hard as that may be.

It takes energy to love someone and it's been a very long time since I've committed myself to it--although not necessarily by choice--but I would give it my all given the opportunity.

But what kind of man am I looking for? I am very picky. Not in a "Oh, he's too tall" or "He's not a blond" sort of way. I can't really describe my ideal man...Call me what you will but my dad is really hard to beat. He's so worldly, works hard and provides for his family, a mister fix it, has a built in TomTom, and cooks. He has a great sense of humor and even though as a traditional Asian dad, he doesn't express himself very well, I know he loves me and supports me.

The best thing about him is his passion for food and eating. Everyday when he comes home for dinner, no matter what it is, if my mom or I cooked it, he will smile and praise it till he cleans his plate. Almost every meal ends with him saying, “This is why I can’t go out to eat! Why would I go out when I can stay home and eat something better?” For that, I would come home everyday and stand in the kitchen after even the longest of shifts to cook.

I would be lucky to find anyone even half as wonderful as my dad. And I hope to God he's out there.

What I Knead

I’m feeling ambitious! I feel like I can accomplish a lot in no time! I’m feeling positive! I feel like I’m getting full usage of all the exclamation points!

I’m not on a caffeine binge if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m actually regretfully drinking a FRESCA. I meant to buy a 12 pack of Coke, saw this, and bought it. I don’t know why. I’ve never had a craving for it before; I guess I thought I would like it. Honestly, I was probably thinking it was a new flavor of Fanta. Stupid me. I hate the taste of aspartame. That’s what lies taste like, I tell you!

I just finished a week full of exams. This week, the tests were all written. Next week, we have our hands-on assessments. Normally, I’m pretty confident come test time but the material got really heavy at the end. Anyway, after successfully making it out alive and good grades, I have a lot to look forward to. I just have one more week and I’m home free, literally. I’ll be making the drive home as soon as I get done with Clinic. I want to drive all the way home that day but I know better.

I have a whole list of stuff I want to do when I get home, cooking being the number one thing besides seeing my friends and family. I am determined to take full advantage of that kitchen! It’s not huge but way bigger than this Easy Bake Oven I’m trying to work with! Here are a couple things on my menu: Cauliflower and Brussels Sprout Gratin with gooey Gruyere, BBQ Chicken (Tyler Florence’s recipe), Marshmallow Milkshakes, and Churro Tots. The last two are from a blog I found when I was searching the interweb for some inspiration (http://www.acozykitchen.com/churro-tots/). But the thing I am most excited about is my version of a Savory Cinnamon Roll.

Before you get totally grossed out, hear me out: It consists of the same soft and fluffy dough but instead of the cinnamon and sugar, think of the combination of sweet caramelized onions, the salty taste of ham, and the yummy texture and flavor of cheese…Yeah, you like that. I do too. That’s why I’m excited. I’m sure a ton of recipes are floating out there for this but this is something I dreamed up on my own. I can’t wait. I haven’t baked bread in such a long time. I’m ready to get my hands dirty and use my arms and hands to pound that dough. I want to come out with flour everywhere and a smile on my face.

I’m getting all flustered. Wow, food IS my sex--except I don’t feel guilty about it afterward…well, unless I’ve made a whole cake that I have to then eat myself. Ok, it’s the same.

Man, I bet it would be awesome to make it a threesome: A guest, food, and me. Double the pleasure and double the fun (and half the calories since I won’t be eating it all)! It would be even more of a treat if my guest was a handsome man who likes a women who cooks and doesn’t mind helping—well, helping clean up. I’d rather not have him in the kitchen. My space! Grrr.

Well, I even if that can’t be arranged, I’m hoping my friends will have some time to come see me and maybe snack on some goodies I’ve whipped up. That would be the best dessert of all.

Looney Tunes

Over and over again, I hear about songs that evoke certain feelings or songs that make you remember that one moment in time. But what if I want to create a new playlist? I’m tired of having those old feelings.

I was on my way home from school with the windows down, actually enjoying the humid but moving air, when my iPod shuffled to a song that made me roll my eyes a little. It was a great song but one that will forever be ruined because there’s an extra event attached to it.

I know now that I have to be careful about what musical soundtrack is accompanying my fights, breakups, shacking, and terrible hangovers. Even albums that I listened to when I was truly in love are a little depressing. They’re a reminder of how happy I was and how that artist came to represent that time for me so perfectly. Not all the memories are bad but the bad ones are painful.

For example: Bash and Pop takes me back to the time I was happy rocking out with musicians. Celine Dion makes me miss karaoke with my dear friends. And the soundtrack to Once reminds me of a weird time in my life when I was adjusting to certain changes (I’m going to leave that one vague).

Don’t judge me on my examples although as I’m writing this, I know it’s too late. It’s so funny how much I care about what people think about my musical taste. Sure, I’ll judge you with no restraints when you tell me you “rock out with your cock out” to Creed but other than that, I’m going to try not to care. I remember this one time, I was sitting at the bar and the guy next to me chatted me up about music. Judging by the tattoos on his arm and the way he was dressed, I knew he enjoyed old school rock. So naturally, when he asked me about what bands I listened to, I gathered all the usual members: the Beatles, Sean Lennon, and the Replacements. It’s a good smorgasbord, I think. It’s something classic, something a little indie, and all out RAD! Of course to a certain degree, I wasn’t lying about any of it but to say that the Replacements were on heavy rotation on my iPod is a little suspect.

And of course my selection was met with a, “Replacements, huh? Right on.” All I could do was hope he didn’t ask me what my favorite song was on which album.

I like what I like. I enjoy Mozart and Celtic music. I love cheesy 80’s as much as the next neon legwarmer wearing, “Swap” ready sorority girl. I love my show tunes, RENT included. And I listened to Hanson and Spice Girls--although I think it’s “cool” now to claim them as a like. I’m not going to apologize or make excuses…but know that there is more to my musical selection than this and I like obscure bands and independent labels too. (ha)

Luxuries

Wanting to put all my energy into studying, I decided not to look for a job until I graduate. It seemed the most realistic but also unfortunate. I don’t doubt that I could do both since I did it all through high school and college but being in a new place…I didn’t want the added stress of looking for a job and not having any connections here will make the search that much harder. Plus, we get a long break every term and I wanted to go home to recharge and reboot.

So, I’ve been living off of the money that I’ve saved over the years. I realized that even though I wasn’t “whippin’ out fliff (The Professor Brothers reference, check it)” back home, I sure was living the good life (or as good as one can live off of a server's pay). I didn’t hesitate buying nice wine, good meats, and organic ingredients. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any of it. It actually drives me to do well in school and get a good job so I can do that all over again! Anyway, now, I window shop at the Fresh Market, avoid the name brand stuff if the generic tastes the same, and buy in bulk. But I do splurge a little…on fruit!

It’s so crazy for me. I never really ate that much fruit. I hated snacking on apples and refused bananas unless they were a part of a pudding or gelato. Now, my mornings revolve around fruit. Since summer’s rolled around, I switched from coffee and tea to smoothies. For the past couple weeks, it’s been a mango, banana, and strawberry smoothie. I throw in some plain yogurt, a touch of honey, and flaxseed too. Who would have thought I’d be this “healthy?” And I like it.

Rereading what I just wrote, if you didn’t know me, you would think that I was such a spoiled asshole. Maybe I was, maybe I am but that’s why this is such a growing experience for me. Yea sure, I’m probably learning a little late but better late than never!? I can’t really say that I’m eating better because I slack off on dinner and miss the dark leafy green parts of the food pyramid while super heavy on the carb group but I’m learning to balance. If anything, being on a budget keeps the cookies, ice cream, and the occasional Hot Pocket off of my grocery list!

The mango section is getting smaller at the store and I haven't decided on the next fruit I want to obsess over. I’ve been eyeing the cantaloupes but haven’t committed yet. I still have till next grocery day to decide on my new gem.

It’s the Joy of Cooking

I love to cook, if you haven’t figured that out, but I’ve never really had to cook back home because my mother is the Chef de cuisine. She manages to put out a healthy and complete meal without going back and forth to the store. She can multitask like she has the arms of Shiva! I am still amazed by that. Since cooking only for myself and trying to save as much money as I can, I feel like I’m getting better about using what I have instead of constantly longing for that ONE herb that I was missing. I’ve learned to make substitutions and actually make sauces without a bay leaf. Amazed, I’m sure.

I am what you would, well what I would, call a cut-and-paste cook. The “Yahoo Answers” cook, if you will. I will look up a recipe for hours: Comparing cooking methods, ingredients, and measurements... I’ve spent a whole afternoon on allrecipes.com just reading up on the negative reviews on a Tuna Melt recipe. As meticulous as it sounds, I guess it’s my way to ensure that I’m not going to waste the time and ingredients on something that isn’t going to be delicious.

Until my big move, I didn’t really utilize my Joy of Cooking cookbook. This Bible has been around since the Thirties! I should trust it, right? No. It’s not you it’s me. I don’t generally trust the measurements unless it’s for baking. For example, I always tweak the sugar. There seems to be waaaaaay too much sugar in pretty much everything. Also, Joy of Cooking doesn’t have (enough) pictures, which scares me. And finally, it doesn’t have colorful photographs of busty Italians or Catchphrase-crazy Celebrity Chefs encouraging me to cook.

That was then, this is now: I’ve used a couple of Joy’s recipes. Not enough to say that I’ve made a dent in it but enough to convince me that its authors know what they’re talking about. But what really sold me, the recipe that made me sad to have ever doubted it, was the Crispy Chocolate Chip Cookie. Honestly, I did tweak the sugar but followed the rest of it and WOW! The best cookies I’ve ever made. They are crispy and delicious and freeze VERY well, keeping me from eating the entire batch in one sitting. I’ve been cutting 6 cookies at a time and stretching that over a week. I’ve been pretty good.

Freezing has been my new thing but I’ll save that for another post.

Didn’t Sign Up for This

Some people just don’t grow up. Maybe they didn’t get to get the “silly” out of their system when they were in school but you’re old enough to have a home and raise a child. It’s time to buckle down!

For them, school will always be a moan and groan, “Have to” and not “Want to.” Yea, there were still the students who were always tardy, disrupted class, and talked back to the teacher in college but I thought it would be a little different at a technical school. We all chose to be here for whatever reason.

Like most technical schools, all you need is a high school diploma/GED to apply but this isn’t just a weekend course. It’s actually school and you have to put in the work and not to mention, the money. I was surprised by the amount of complaining I hear day to day. I’m not saying I won’t let a complaint about studying slip but I’m still going to show up for class and do what’s expected of me. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a nerd…NO! I’m paying big bucks to be here! I am going to do well, graduate with a 4.0, and start my career! That’s why most of us are here, right?

It’s so infuriating when the instructor is taking attendance and everyone is still yapping away! It is sooo middle school except half of the class is in their late 30s, have children, or at least old enough to know better. Faking a dry heave when we look at real human muscles? You can’t keep that to yourself? Asking the instructor something we learned the first week of class and is the foundation in which we are expanding on? Huh? The teacher makes a rhetorical statement. Make a smart-ass comment? Again I scream…Really?

Something happened today that is one of my big pet peeves: Asking a question during lecture when it’s quite clear that he’s going to go over it in later slides. I get that you are curious and want answers but if the topic is driving, don’t you think he’ll explain what the ignition is? Just effin’ wait!

I roll my eyes so much that I’ve literally given myself a migraine. I wonder if those kinds of people are in med school? God, I hope not. Our anatomy instructor always tells us to, “Go for the maximum! You don’t want to have the C average doctor, you want the one that went for the A!” Unfortunately, more than a couple of my classmates are going for the minimum…the bare minimum.

Sigh, I am so glad that I found a group of people that I can relate to. I’ve met some really great people here and I really don’t know what I would have done without them. I need other people to share my pain.

Just Do It

I think it’s time to talk about where my life has taken me since my year, well actually two-year, absence. I can’t count 2010 because I wrote a total of what, 11 posts?

I had wanted to loosen the grip my hometown had on me since…I was a senior in high school. It was probably a mix between laziness, fear, and the security I had that made me stay. At that time, I had so much to lose if I left. But as time passed and those secure bonds broke and fell apart, I still kept having one too many conversations about wanting to leave… It was time.

Sure I would be leaving my dear friends and family behind and that was definitely the hardest part but I was more than ready to say goodbye to my lack of growth. I didn’t want to bitch anymore! My biggest excuse was that I didn’t want to fail and come back home. I wanted so much to be a success story and so afraid to fail that I gave up trying all together.

The hard part was actually deciding where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. Ideally, I wanted to rent a cheap but charming studio apartment in Brooklyn and live the big city life in a place that I loved and stimulated me in many ways. Realistically, living there, the city would have eaten me alive. I needed to get my feet wet before I cannonballed into that excitement. I still dream of one day heading that way but for now…

I didn’t really have any other place in mind where I HAD to be besides New York. I wanted to be near a big city but not big enough or aggressive enough that I would have to constantly have my hand poised on my pink pepper spray. I also had to decide why I would go. Well, I did actually think about going to culinary school. I love food and preparing it but I didn’t necessarily want to make it into a career. I didn’t want to wake up at 6 in the morning after a crazy 10 plus hour shift and hate raising a spatula to make myself eggs. A couple weekend cooking classes with a professional chef would be enough for me. So, my other thing was massage.

I don’t think I ever mentioned my goal to fit into every single Asian stereotype but this was another one. Here’s an excerpt from my scholarship essay: Massage has always been a part of my life. When I was on the high school swim team, I became the designated massager to warm up muscles before an event or sooth sore arms on the bus ride home. Same thing when I worked in restaurants. It’s tough being on your feet and holding plates, shift after shift. I had read a couple things about massage therapy but even with my limited knowledge, I knew that what I was doing was helping my friends, family, and coworkers to relax. I feel like I have a talent for this… etc etc etc

So, long story short, I decided on a school, picked on one of their many locations, used my Thanksgiving break to look at apartments, and BOOM! I made it happen.

Bon Appetit

Episode 1: Grapefruit-Balsamic Chicken Teriyaki

It's been, wow, almost 6 months since I relocated from my protective little bubble (I'll explain in a separate post). I won't say that I'm totally comfortable but this little 1 bedroom apartment is feeling a little more homey everyday.

This term, I have designated Wednesdays to be Grocery Day, as well as, Big Dinner Day. I have more time to cook and relax than I do on other weekdays so it's a perfect day to make a multi course menu. It also happens to be my No Pilates day so that also works out well.

So, I've had this bottle of yummy grapefruit balsamic in my pantry since I moved in. It's lovely but frankly, I don't know how to use it. Sure, I drizzle it on greens and occasionally on plain yogurt with strawberries but I can only do that so many times. Well, it so happened that I had a hankering for some Teriyaki Chicken and I figured, "This balsamic is pretty sweet so I can probably substitute the sugar and it'll give it the tartness that I love." And man, was I right!

Now, I'm not confident enough to morph this into a food blog yet. Hell, I just figured out a way to send my dad pictures of my dinner without it having an awful red glare. And I don't want my dishes looking like the sad discolored photographs at the Chinese takeout places (the ones without the backlight). Yeah, McDonald's photographers didn't work that gig!

I've bookmarked many of my favorite food sites and let me tell you, it's intimidating. Some bloggers call themselves, "Small kitchen cooks" but they've got some heavy duty equipment and counter space. All I have is a countertop big enough to put my dish rack in the back and my standard size cutting board up front! My poor mise en place is forced into the corners of my cutting board or stacked in containers that are balanced on the sink divider. Sheesh. Where's my blogger who writes about kneading bread on an IKEA side table where most of the space is taken up by the microwave and blender? I know you're out there!

Back to the food: My menu consisted of Grapefruit-Balsamic Chicken Teriyaki with Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Tomato salad, and Rice. It was perfect! That sauce was awesome! I used two chicken thighs so I'll be having an encore for lunch tomorrow. Can't wait.

Tomorrow, I've planned a Shrimp Pasta. Hope it's as satisfying as tonight's meal!

What am I Doing?

I mean that in two different ways: "What am I doing?" as in, "How did I manage to neglect this poor blog for over a YEAR?" and "What am I doing?" -like, "Oh, you really wanna know..."

I've tried to start back so many times but kept deleting my drafts because, well...I thought I had lost a little of my "funny." I would write and delete, write and delete. Nothing was sounding witty or agreeable. It was more sad and self loathing. And who wants to read that? I sure don't and I'm one of the only ones reading this.

And that's when I had my epiphany: I shouldn't care about what other people are going to think about my blog. It's just an open diary that's lost in space anyway. I need this to document my day to day activities so I can look at it years later and think, "Wow...that's one hell of a typo."

So, lets get started! Instead of starting off doing a series of recaps on what's happened in the past YEAR-plus (that'll come later), I've decided to start by listing the things I'm trying to incorporate in my life to improve myself (also so I won't forget):

1. Cooking: One of the most important things to me besides eating. Watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations isn't helping my need to travel or my want of a bigger kitchen. Right now, I'm just cooking for myself. At first it wasn't much fun since I wasn't cooking to entertain anybody but now, I love it. All I have to do is satisfy my own tongue...but that's actually not as easy as I thought.

2. Pilates: My small apartment won't allow me to Zumba without rearranging my entire living room setup. I finally found the perfect workout video on Netflix (God bless it) that doesn't require room to breakdance. I'm trying to do this every other day to "strengthen my core." Nah, I'm doing it because I can't just sit on my couch all day after class.

3. Arm workout: I bought some Pilates bands. I really like them but I haven't really used them to do a whole workout. Now, I'm just using the bands to help me stretch when my muscles are feeling a little hypertonic and most importantly, I'm doing a couple 1 min triceps workouts throughout the day to strengthen my arms. *They need it!

4. Writing letters: And I mean actual letters with stamps and hand written addresses. I sent some Mothers Day cards that made me miss getting and sending real letters. I used to have a pen pal and I guess I had forgotten the feeling of getting something in the mail that was personalized and littered with stickers and hearts. I'm going to try to mail something once a month, at least. I hope my bestie doesn't mind.

5. Go to the beach: I finally live close to water and I really haven't taken advantage of it. Why? Because I'm scared about the locals judging my body. Who cares? It's not like this particular beach is Cabo or Cancun! I need to get out there, every other weekend at least! I need the color anyway!

6. Drink 8 Cups of Water: With class, I have to keep myself hydrated. I got this new app that keeps track of my water intake and I'm loving it. I can't honestly say that I feel any different but I hope overtime I'll be able to tell!

7. Doing something before I can find a way to talk myself out of it: I just discovered this. I was going back and forth about whether to workout one day and decided to get my body up while my brain was still deciding what it wanted to do. Surprisingly, I did my video and felt better! Imagine that!

Well, that's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll think of more things later on and I hope to get myself typing before my brain stops me! Lets hope this start doesn't end after 3 posts! Wish me luck!