Saturday, February 13, 2010

That Warm and Fuzzy Feeling

I've been noticing a lot more guys in the card aisle as well as excessive hand holding. My eyes are about to fall out of my head from rolling them so much at couples eskimo-kissing while I order my sandwich for one. February 14th, the day we celebrate the Patron Saint of designer chocolates and Vermont Teddy Bears.

No, I don't think Valentine's Day is silly. Hell, I'll take any holiday where I get gifts for no reason. I just hate it now because I don't have anyone to bat my short eyelashes at. Maybe, when I'm asked what I did for Valentine's, I'll come up with this elaborate lie about how I was wined and dined by some fabulous guy that I met...at the Vet or something. But, knowing my luck, they probably would have seen me in the drive thru line at Wendy's buying 3 Frostys. They'll play along of course, out of pity.

Actually, Valentine's Day is necessary. It's a good holiday to celebrate togetherness without the family around (if you know what i mean, wink, wink). It's also a great way to sucker your significant other into letting you go to Mardi Gras without them.

People need a couple slutty holidays in order to pretend to be religions come Ash Wednesday. You'd never know how many "devout" Catholics there were till they come marching in with their foreheads marked.

Yea, keep telling people that you're giving up cigarettes and Rumple for Lent. Jesus would be proud.

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