Sighing for the fifth time, I was preparing myself to enter Walmart. I armed myself with a list so I wouldn't stray and lose myself in front of the $5 movie bin. I made good time and got everything I needed in under 30 min. Sure, I bought a few extra things but it wasn't too bad.
As I was waiting in line, I looked up to see a hottie making his way toward the exit. We locked eyes. I looked away fearing the retinal interaction was getting too intense. I looked back hoping to get one more eye full of him. To my surprise, we locked eyes AGAIN! I was all grinny inside after he stepped out of my line of vision until I realized that I was holding a box of tampons in my arms, facing out, for all the world to see. Damn it. Now, even if he thought I was cute (regardless of my work outfit and pulled back hair), my image will forever be infused with a box of Tampax.
As I'm cursing underneath my breath, I text my encounter to my BFFF. Her response is what makes her my one and only. She replied, "Hahahahaha!!! Now he knows you can breed. His subconscious will LOVE that."
Lets talk about how that happenstance should have gone:
By the time I'd made my rounds through the store, letting the seductive fluorescent lights illuminate my way, I'd picked up more off list items than those that were on. I'm barely managing this juggling act but still refuse to get a basket because I only needed one more thing. But what do we have here? The last bottle of bay leaves is jammed in the back of the top shelf. So, I balance my stuff in one arm while on my tiptoes, fingers flailing, to reach it. Along comes a tall and cute guy who grabs it and hands it to me, coincidentally knocking some of my things onto the floor (tampons are absent in this version).
"I'm not much help after all," he'd say while helping me gather my things. "No, I really appreciate it," I say without looking up. While holding the bottle of bay leaves, he asks, "So, what can you make with this anyway?" "Oh, I'm going to put it in some stew. It helps with the flavor." "Wow, never would have known that. They only seem live leaves to me. I don't cook." He grins while holding up his box of instant macaroni and cheese and frozen pizza.
We laugh and I thank him again while trying to situate my things. "Um, are you done shopping because I'm headed out too. I can just carry these for you." So, he does. He shares a few short kitchen nightmares till we're all checked out and bagged. "Well, it was nice to meet you." I'd say and we'd part. As I fumble for my keys, I hear him say, "Good luck with your stew!" What a cutie.
A couple days later, I was at work counting out my money for the night when I hear, "So, how'd that stew turn out?" I looked up, a little confused. Oh, it's the helpful Cutie. He'd ask me when I got off work and...
Now THAT'S the kind of happenstance I'm looking for! Is it too much to ask?!
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